My Finn, my Bubba, turned eight last month.
Eight years ago he came outta me, and we brought him home.
Do you remember (if you’ve had one) what is was like bringing your newborn home?
Everything was roses and peaches and cream.
BAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAA!! Sorry… I just couldn’t pass that up.
Roses and peaches and cream were NOWHERE in sight.
In fact, I’m pretty sure there was a mass shortage of all things joyful across the nation, ’cause everywhere I looked, there was nothing that even remotely RESEMBLED anything of the sort.
I mean, make no mistake, I’ve loved each of my kiddos from the second I laid eyes on them.
Like, I’ll-rip-your-eyes-out-and-feed-them-to-the-birds kind of fierce if you were to threaten their health or well being in any way, shape or form.
Still do. And still will. (‘Sa mama thing.)
And while I was fortunate enough to have not experienced postpartum depression with any of them,
I’m gonna go ahead and be straight here (’cause, apparently, I have issues keeping my mouth shut about… well, ANYthing)…
the first several months of bringing my newborn(s) home was sheer and utter CHAOS.
Like, deer-in-the-headlights-awaiting-what-must-be-certain-death kindo’ chaos.
With our first, we were blindsided.
People told us what to expect, of course. We knew SO much of how it was going to be… without really knowing ANYTHING AT ALL.
*Babies cry. A LOT. (No really… I mean, like, A WHOLE LOT.) And they don’t stop when you ask them to. No matter how politely you ask it. Not even when you beg.
*Babies often don’t sleep when you want them to. (Or EVER, when you want them to.) And there’s a good chance YOU may never sleep again… ever.
*Breastfeeding? Ohmygosh. (If it was easy for you those first three months, don’t EVER tell me. Or anyone, really, ’cause there’s a chance you’re not from this planet. Which may freak people out.)
*The words “take a shower” can ’cause sudden and simultaneous severe physical reactions, such as instant, uncontrollable laughter coupled with extreme, incessant sobbing.
*And we won’t even talk about, umm… intimacy. ‘Cause, YEAH. NO.
I’ll never forget the day I sat down on the couch next to Thomas and started crying, quietly.
I said, “I’m not crying ’cause I’m sad. I don’t even know why I’m crying… I just know that I am, in fact, crying.”
And my UBER tough husband who I’ve still, to this day, NOT ever seen shed an actual tear, said, “I know. I feel the same way.”
And even when we were no longer “in the dark” on life involving a newborn, it was still HARD each time we brought our next one home.
But the thing is (and this is the beauty of Parenthood, I think)… the thing is, even after all of the crazy “HARD”, the rocking of our world, the extreme survival mode we lapsed into each time just praying we’d make it back into the clear…
even after all of the pain and suffering (yes, I’m using the word “pain” and flying that flag high right now) involved in choosing to become parents…
we wouldn’t rethink that choice for one teensy little second.
Going back, we’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.
All of it.
‘Cause each one of these babies of ours grabbed hold of our hearts so completely, and changed us so entirely, that the thought of not having them in our lives for one single solitary second would be enough to end us.
And while we know in the back of our minds that we don’t have control over whether or not we get to keep them with us for the rest of our lives, we nevertheless spend most of our energy praying for their health and happiness… and that we’ll be blessed enough to leave this Earth before them.
‘Cause we’re not sure, now, how our hearts can live without them.
Eight years ago, we brought our baby boy home.
And he and his sisters have changed us into different beings. They’ve made us so much better.
And we’ll never even begin to deserve them.
So when my Bubba asked for a Star Wars themed cake…
(MAYBE YOU DON’T REALIZE HOW OVER STAR WARS THEMED CAKES I AM)
I said without hesitation (ok, maybe there was only the teeeeeensiest bit of hesitation), “Sure Bubba. I’ll make you a Star Wars themed cake. You’ve got it.”
‘Cause… ya know… it was the least I could do for him being born into my life and all, and making me so dang special. Xx
How I made Chewy and this Millennium Falcon inspired cake…
My Chewy topper was inspired by the Funko Pop! line of toy dolls.
I pushed a styro ball with a wooden skewer attached to it into a chunk of modeling chocolate (how to make your own modeling chocolate, here) and formed the head to the shape I wanted it,
but you can definitely just make it out of one big chunk of modeling chocolate if you want to keep it all edible.
(Had it laying in a bed of flour so I could work on it with both hands while not flattening out the head.)
I pushed in with my thumbs about half the way down to form the eye sockets,
and then added extra pieces of mod choc to form the brow bone and the jaw area.
And I blended in the seams with the help of my Sugar Shapers (by Innovative Sugarworks) and my fingies (and crazy thumbs).
I added a nose and gouged out a section for the mouth, and then filled it in with some black mod choc.
And went to town with my angled chisel tip Sugar Shaper.
Oh, and made teeth using small strips of mod choc, one for the top section and one for the bottom,
using a Mini-Sugar Shaper to impress lines in them to give the look of teeth… adding in some triangular extra sharp ones for the edges.
I made his body,
scored it with the Sugar Shaper, and fashioned him a little ammo belt.
(‘Cause who IS Chewy without his ammo belt, really?)
Added some arms, and made a little gun just basically using little rolls of black mod choc and attaching them together with some water.
Then it was time to paint.
I mixed some cappuccino colored petal dust in with some cinnamon colored petal dust, added some Everclear (SUPER high proof grain alcohol) to it and painted him up.
Then I darkened up some areas by just using a cinnamon and Everclear mix.
He seriously took, like, THREE seconds to dry.
(Wull ok… maybe four.)
I scored in some lines on the cake with my Sugar Shapers, again using the angle chisel tip one (the pink one in the photo) and a ruler.
And then I used the flat tipped one (yellow) to make the tiny little marks next to the lines to mimic the look of the exterior of the Millennium Falcon.
I also added in some tiny boxes (just going with what I saw in the photo of the ship) to give it some extra detail,
and then dry dusted the lines and marks with some grey petal dust, and painted some random sections with the dust mixed with Everclear to give it that weathered look.
I wanted something quick and easy for the board treatment, so I broke out my royal blue and violet airbrush food colors and just swirled each color separately (blue first and then violet on top of it) onto white fondant.
I then dipped my “cake decorating only” toothbrush into some white gel color and flicked it onto the board to create stars.
Supah fast, SUPAH easy.
I thought Star Wars themed letters would look cool, so I printed out a set I found on Google to the size I wanted them to be on the cake and cut out the ones I needed.
I placed them on top of some mod choc and cut them out with my exacto knife.
Then I took those black modeling chocolate letters and placed them over yellow mod choc, attaching them with water so they didn’t move on me,
and cut around them so you could see just a tiny edge of yellow when I was finished.
I put the cake on the board, attaching it with a bit of water,
and attached the letters to the cake with shortening (so I could move them into place as needed),
and popped Chewy into a bubble tea straw that I cut to the right height and inserted into the center of the cake to give him a little more stability.
And waited for my Bubba to come home and give me the hug of all hugs…
reminding me of just how very, very blessed I truly am to be his mama.
Happy birthday, Finners.
I love you SO much more than to the moon and back. Xx